KOMEZA URUKUNDO

Mu gihe witwaye uko wishakiye, amahirwe yo kubura inshuti, ugasigara uri nyakamwe aba ari kwiyongera

Mu buzima busanzwe, Ikiri ukuri ni uko umuntu akunda undi kubera inyungu amutegerejeho.  Aha turavuga urukundo nyarwo ndetse n’ibyitwa urukundo. Ushobora gukunda umuntu /kumubeshya ko umukunda/ ugamije:

1.     Kumugira umugore-umugabo- wawe

2.     Kumwishimishaho- kumugira igikoresho wishimishirizaho (objet de plaisir) ugamije ubusambanyi (love affair[1], free love[2])

3.     Kumugira inshuti ikugira inama; umwe wisanzuraho ukamubwira amabanga yawe n’ibikuremererye

4.     Kuzamunyuraho (kuzamwifashisha) kugira ngo ugere aho ushaka- ubone icyo utari ushoboye kwigezaho- ugere kuwo wari warabuze uko ugeraho, (cupboard love[3]). Akenshi rurangirana no kubona icyo wari ugamije.

5.     Kwirinda kwigunga, mbese kugira ngo we kugaragara nka nyakamwe mu bandi- ujye ubona uwo muganira, mutemberana...

Mu rukundo nyarukundo, ukundwa aba yifuza gukorerwa ibyo akora (reciprocity in love). Nta muntu wakwishimira kugukunda mu gihe utamukorera ibyiza nk’ibyo agukorera, nta bushake ufite bwo kurenzaho kugira ngo mukomeze kuryoherwa n’imibanire mufitanye. Mu bituma abantu batandukana, cyangwa imibanire yabo izamo agatotsi, twavuga nk’ibi bikurikira:

1.     Kwanga kugirwa inama; niba nkukunda ngo ungire inama, ukaba udashaka kuzigirwa, ubwo twakosorana dute? Umuntu utagirwa inama aba yumva ko ibyo atekereza byose biba bitunganye, ntatana na wa mugani uvuga ngo ‘amafuti y’umugabo nibwo buryo bwe’, bityo agashyigikirwa na wo ashaka kumvikanisha amakosa ye.

2.     Kubonwa nk’uwita ku bintu kuberako ubikeneye; hari abantu bashimishwa no kwaka service nyamara wabahingukaho bakitwara nk’abatumvise cyangwa nk’aho ibyo ubasaba nta gaciro gakomeye bifite cyangwa ko bishobora kuzakorwa mu gihe kizaza. Ibi birababaza kuko bituma wumvako ibiguhangayikishije ntacyo bivuze ku nshuti yawe.

3.     Kubonwa nk’utatanga igitekerezo kizima; iyo nta cyiza kivamo, nta jambo rizima rigusohokamo, biba bigoye kugumana n’uwo mukundana kuko aba abona nta bumuntu yagukesha

4.     Guhora mu bitekerezo bimwe kandi bibi; ufite ubwenge arakwitondera kuko azi neza ko umuntu agomba gukosorwa na mugenzi we, byananirana akakugendera kure azirikana ko ikirayi cyaboze gishobora kwangiza umufuka wose mu gihe kitavanywe mu bindi.

5.     Guhora mu makosa no kuyagwishamo uwo mukundana; umuntu wifuza kuba imfura, ntashimishwa no guhora mu makosa cyangwa kumva avugwa nabi kubera mugenzi we. Niba umuntu agukunda by’ukuri azagumana nawe nyamara atangire no kudashimishwa n’uko muba kumwe mu gihe runaka.

6.     Kutamenya imiterere (personality[4]) y’uwo mukundana; gukundana bikomezwa no kumenyana, kwizerana no kubahana. Buri umwe akamenya intege nke ze n’iza mugenzi we, akaziheraho amukosora.

Wowe umaze gusoma ibi, ufashe mugambi ki kugira ngo ukomeze ubushuti bwawe? Tangira ukosore aho bitagenda neza bityo ugumane n’inshuti zawe kandi urwo mukundana rukomere kandi rurambe!

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[1] A romantic and sexual relationship between two people who are not married to each other

[2] Sexual activity with several partners which does not involve loyalty to any particular person

[3] Love shown by someone, typically a child or an animal, in order to get what they want

[4] The type of person you are, which is shown by the way you behave, feel and think